This page is dedicated

to the love of my life,

my True Love, Mark.

**UPDATE**

We were re-married

New years Eve in Vegas!

Where do I begin? We originally met in 1980.

Mark and I got married in 1982. I was 17 and he

was 19, (he's a Sagitarius and I'm a Libra) we knew it all!

Even though our families didn’t want us to get married, we insisted.

It was a small, tasteful ceremony. We had a reception with our friends

and family and a live band. It was very nice. We didn’t go on a honeymoon,

we decided we’d rather save our money, since we didn’t have a lot and

he had a minimum wage job. We moved into the apartment below my mom

and dad’s place. It wasn’t too bad. We had a lot of fun, but times

were hard. Finally, he got a job in the paint industry and things got a

lot better. After working a year at this job we decided to have a baby.

We had a baby girl in February of 1985, Nicole Elise. A year an

a half later we bought our first house.

In February of 1990 we had a baby boy. Things were not the

greatest before this, but I somehow thought having a baby might ‘fix’

things. In 1995 we sold our house and bought a bigger, brand new

home. I’d started getting on-line, I’d lost a lot of weight, but the

added cost of the house, as well as my discontent still didn’t allow

me to be happy. By the time my 30th birthday rolled around in

October, I was really unhappy. Even the $5,000.00 ring he presented

to me at the huge party we’d thrown didn’t make me happy for long. I

started going out without him a lot. Made new friends and began attending

Cosmetology School. I also met a man on-line during this period,

who seemed like a wonderful person. We talked on-line for about a year

before I would allow him to call me. We started chatting on the phone.

Things progressed from there and he seemed so wonderful I HAD

to meet him. I was doing all this on the sly, my husband had no idea, well,

maybe he had some idea, but he never said much. I flew to Kansas to meet

him and had a wonderful weekend! It seemed like I had met the man of

my dreams! When I stepped off the plane and saw him for the first time,

he wasn’t what I expected, but the way he presented himself on the phone

made me overlook that. He was attentive and kind and seemed so intelligent!

I was SOLD! I got divorced, in February of 1996 and about 7 months

later I moved to Kansas to be with him. My kids remained behind for

a year while I got ‘settled’. Things were good, a little tight but good.

Through all this, Mark stood by me. He’d given me the divorce after

pleading with me many, many times to stay with him. He helped me pack

and helped me move. He brought the kids to see me almost every month,

paid me child-support even when the kids weren’t living with me

yet. He kept me on his insurance and was my friend.

Alan moved in with me... mostly. He didn’t move any of his things in, he

kept those at his mom’s. I got a job and he got a second job at the same

place. I paid all the bills. We did everything together. Then his mom and

dad said their renters were moving and did we want to rent the house? It

seemed better than my apartment and had enough room for the kids.

We took it. He moved in some of his stuff but kept a lot at his mom’s

for the longest time.

A few weeks after moving in it was Christmas and Alan asked me to

marry him. I accepted. I’d told him I wouldn’t marry him until he got

a better job and provided me with insurance. The kids moved in with us

in June and I quit my job a short time after, since I needed to be home

for them after school. Plus I’d learned I have Degenerative Disc Disease

(see my PAIN link) There was a lot of conflict between the kids and Alan.

It almost seemed as though he resented that he couldn't control them. A

year or so later, March 2000,we got married in Las Vegas. He hadn’t

gotten a better job, but I felt guilty ‘shacking up’. There was major stress

during the months preceding the wedding and I had no one to help me through it,

I’d moved away from all my family. Except Mark, he always talked to me on

the phone and was kind. He even went to the wedding and stayed with the kids.

I found out about a month after the wedding that Alan had lied to me about

a $400 brake job. Told me he had done it himself, until I saw the credit card

bill and confronted him. This was just one of a million lies throughout the

years that I had overlooked. I had thought marriage might make a difference.

I could list the million lies here and boggle your mind, but that’s not the

point of this.

Even though I had a lot of pain from the Disc Disease, I still needed to

work in order to have any extra money. I took a job working where

Alan worked during the day, at his sister’s business. That was another mistake.

I soon found out how little work he did. He’d always acted as though he had

a lot of ambition, yet he seemed content to work this dead-end job forever.

He’d play games on his computer while I was so stressed out that I was

nearly in tears. I didn’t last long at that job. I finally quit. I needed to take care

of the kids, I didn’t like to leave them home alone after school for hours,

especially when I was used to being there for them whenever they needed me.

After about 6 months of marriage to this man, I knew it wasn’t working.

I would cry myself to sleep at night and he didn’t even know it. I was

incredibly unhappy and he was oblivious. I started to wish I’d never moved

away from my family. I went home for Christmas with the kids and stayed

at my ex’s place. It was so stress free! I went home after Christmas and it

was really difficult. I wasn’t happy, I was more unhappy than before. In

mid January Mark’s mom had a heart attack and needed a triple by-pass.

We were all very worried so I flew up with the kids. I didn’t want to go

back home, Mark and I got closer and it seemed like the old days. I

didn’t know how I was going to deal with going back to Kansas, so,

I didn’t. Mark said I could stay.

I took the coward’s way out and never went back, until March when

I sneaked in and got my stuff and ran back to Indiana without ever seeing

Alan again. I left him a note. I know it was a bad way to do

things, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it any other way.

Needless to say, he wasn’t too happy, but I think he only asked me to

come home a total of 3 times. He never even came to Indiana to try and

convince me. I honestly don’t think he ever really loved me. He gave me a

divorce and it was final in May 2001. We’d been married just a year.

It’s been 2 months since the divorce and he's moved another woman into

the house 2 weeks ago. That’s 6 weeks after the divorce. He didn’t have

the nerve to tell me, I happened to call and she answered the phone.

He hadn’t even told me he was dating, though I’d asked him weekly.

Just more lies. I have to go back to get the rest of my stuff this month

and he knew I was coming. He couldn’t wait 3 extra weeks to move

her in? He’s known her 6 weeks.

It’s been a little rough dealing with the knowledge that I meant absolutely

nothing to this man who I gave up so much for. He didn’t seem to

care though and I know I did the right thing in leaving him.

Through all this time Mark only dated a handful of women, but it was

nothing serious. None of the dates really worked out or lead to anything

more. He waited for me. For 4 years this man waited for me, hoping I’d

come back to him. He’s held me and helped me through everything!

I guess I finally grew up and realized what I wanted and who truly loved me.

I still have a lot of guilt about leaving, but no one seems to hold it against me.

It’s weird! I didn’t think I’d be able to come back, but it was easy. I think

I feel worse about having left, than any of those I left behind! I was on a

destructive course before I ever left here. Mark and I both agree it was

probably best that I got away. Maybe I had to leave what I loved behind

to find out how much I needed and missed it. Or should I say him?

Anyway, we are doing really well together. The family is complete

and happy! I never thought this would happen in my wildest dreams!

Mark talks about getting married again. Maybe even on our

original anniversary. I’ll have to update this page as things develop.

Midi;
Thank You
for
Loving Me
Bon Jovi
Click HERE
for lyrics

Well, I went back in August to get the last of my things. They had

been packed (and I use the term loosely) and put in storage. I guess I

shouldn't feel too bad about not facing Alan when I left Kansas,

because he apparently didn't have the nerve to face me. He was

"out of town" I wasn't 'allowed' in the house to see if anything of mine was

in there. The move was a nightmare. The movers didn't show up when

they were supposed to. Half my possessions are either completely missing

or broken. We have to see a lawyer about getting reimbursed for the losses.

I know he kept some of my things, and I can't figure out why...

I had hundreds of dollars of Halloween decorations I had bought.

We would decorate the yard big-time, but he was always reluctant to

do it, so I had to do most of it with the kids. I can't imagine him doing

it now, but who knows? Things are apparently quite different now :)

Well, We don't speak anymore. I voiced my opinion in an e-mail and he

didn't like it and will no longer communicate. I am now wating to receive

my half of the tax refund we got in September. It's crazy. Really. I don't

quite understand everything, but I guess this is just the way it is.

**********

It's a few days until what would have been Mark's and my

19th anniversary. We have plans to go to Chicago.

**UPDATE**

**October 20, 2001**

Mark and I celebrated our 19th Wedding

Anniversary on Tuesday October 16th.

We went for a lovely dinner in Chicago.

(We agreed to count from our original

anniversary since he'd never really left me)

On Saturday October 20, 2001 we went to

Chicago again and he popped the question!

I know I refer to him as my hubby, and for all

intents and purposes he is, just not on paper :)

Well, we drove to Chicago and he took me on

a carriage ride through the beautiful Lincoln Park area.

While in a picturesque residential area he told me

how much I mean to him and how much he loves me

and asked me to marry him again. He presented me with

the gorgeous ring I'd been admiring! In tears I said yes!

We then went for a romantic fondue dinner.

When we came home it turned out both kids

wanted to spend the night at friends houses...

Couldn't have worked out any better! ~wink~

So, the big question now is...

When to get remarried...

Next October 16th, our 20th Anniversary...

or we're tossing around New Years Eve...

New Years Eve

Remarried in Vegas...

October 16, 2007

25 years!!

A lovely anniversary gift from

the Divine Divas of the Web

Love is friendship that has caught fire.
It is quiet understanding,
mutual confidence, sharing and forgiving.
It is loyalty through good and bad times.
It settles for less than perfection and makes
allowances for human weaknesses.

Love is content with the present,
it hopes for the future, and it does not brood over the past.
It's the day-in and day-out chronicle of irritations,
problems, compromises, small disappointments,
big victories and working toward common goals.

If you have love in your life, it can make up for a great
many things that are missing. If you don't have love in
your life, no matter what else there is, it's not enough.

Ann Landers

Click the ring for the Legend of the Claddagh

This is my ring!

Diamonds and platinum!

Featuring a Platinum 7 stone sway wedding ring

designed to be worn with the Cashel Claddagh

ring in Platinum. Containing a central heart

shaped Diamond surrounded by twelve

brilliant cut diamonds to symbolize the

original twelve tribes of Galway.

Visit the jewelers who made my ring

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